Somewhere inside of all of us is a lion waiting to come out. For most of us, we encounter the lion inside of us when it comes out in a rage and roars at everyone and everything and this can be destructive and frightening. But we can also use the lion’s gifts and energies in a conscious way that helps us confront people and situations in our lives with bravery to set boundaries and meet situations with ferocity and unbending intention. Lions are not, however, easily found or contained so there’s work involved in incorporating that energy.

There’s a fabulous song by Van Morrison called Listen to the Lion that I have been listening to obsessively for the last few weeks to help me find and embody my inner lion. In the song Morrison sings about searching his soul for the lion inside. His love has “come tumbling down,” his tears have flown like water and he’s listening to the lion. The song is mystical and intense, full of Morrison growling and scatting. And in the end he is sailing away, looking for a brand new start.

Sometimes we don’t have to listen very hard to find the inner lion. For example, I recently picked up the phone and found myself being yelled at by an acquaintance. I felt a lot of things in this moment: shocked, hurt, and incredibly pissed off. It took a while for me to respond to this person but the lion inside of me was roaring and this was a good thing because it gave me the energy I needed to set boundaries and insist on not being verbally assaulted again. Simple, really, and case closed.

Mama lion with her cubs

Sometimes it’s more complicated and almost life preserving that we find our inner lion and draw on its strengths and bravery to help us survive a situation intact. Recently my son was diagnosed with failure to thrive and it seemed like everything else in my life came to a halt. Now, more than ever, I need that inner lion in order to show up for my six month old baby. I knew I had to find it and embody it, but how when I am scared and feel like I’m going to fall apart?

Since I am engaged in that work right now I can only tell you how I’m doing it, not that I’ve been completely successful and all is now working out fine. It is daily work, and I mean the kind of work that requires almost constant attention to my inner state of mind and my physical health (I make sure that I get enough sleep and nutrition and have made an appointment to see a therapist for extra support). First, I have to let myself feel all the scary and painful feelings. These feelings are my source of strength–they are the lion’s den. Just as Van Morrison says, “all my love comes tumbling down,” and “my tears like water flown.” In that place I search my very soul for the resolve to show up in each moment so I can track my son’s every feeding, communicate clearly with doctors, take him for blood tests, and of course be with my husband and children with as much love and attention as possible.

The work is gritty and requires growling and standing your ground sometimes. My decision to breastfeed (my son’s diet is currently half solid food, half breast milk) has been questioned and I know that some doctors initial reaction to this diagnosis is to assume maternal deprivation. So, when I question myself (and I think most mothers do this) I have to feel the doubt and then contact the mama lion in me who instinctively cares for her cubs with ferocity. From that place, there are no doubts that I am doing everything I can to nurture my baby and I have to stand my ground on decisions I’ve made that I know are balanced and right.

Embodying the inner lion doesn’t have to mean raging out of control but can, with conscious intention, be a source of strength and ground. In my current situation it has served to bring me into the present moment with a tenacity that allows me to feel my feelings and meet every day with a clear head and honest evaluation.

Hopefully, my son will respond to the higher fat diet we’re feeding him. If not and something more serious is causing his failure to thrive, I believe my inner lion will help me meet whatever arises.

May your inner lion be easily found and may you be able to embody it with intention.